- Pornography Addict for 25 years; Alcohol Addict for 21 years
- In Recovery and Relapse-Free since March 2014
- Alcohol Rehabilitation at Spencer Recovery Center, Palm Springs, Calif., March-June 2014 (including internship and group facilitation)
- Sex/Porn Addiction Rehabilitation at Sante Center for Healing, Argyle, Texas, May-July 2015
- Author, The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships (available through Amazon)
- Contributor of Sex/Porn Addiction Recovery Articles for TheFix.com and Recovery Today magazine
- Currently Working on Second Book Geared Toward Relatives/Friends of Porn Addicts
- Public Speaker on the Subject of Pornography Addiction
- Certified Life Coach through KEW Training Academy – Accredited by CTAA
Why I started this peer support service:
The eight months leading up to the creation of this website have been among the most fulfilling in my life. Through my original website, RecoveringPornAddict.com launched in September 2017 and the release of my book, The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About, in January 2018, I have connected with both those suffering with pornography addiction and the people who love them.
Making these connections has not only reaffirmed my commitment to my own recovery but has given me a sense of legitimate purpose in my life like few other things have. It has also shown me that I have crossed over from the side of needing help to the side of being able to provide it.
Shortly after my book was published, people affected by pornography addiction – both addicts and their loved ones – started sending me questions privately, asking for help and advice. When I was going through my addiction and the immediate fallout of it becoming public, there wasn’t anybody like me to lean on. I wasn’t yet comfortable walking into a 12-step group and despite their best effort, any therapist I talked to didn’t really understand what was happening at the core.
There have been few satisfactions in my life like hearing that I’ve helped somebody get through, or at least understand, the difficult place they find themselves. I first recognized an ability to do this at inpatient rehab and then again counseling my fellow inmates during my jail sentence. Knowing that I can help others has been the biggest boost to my recovery in years.
Exchanging email with one person quickly involved into two, then three. Before I realized it, I was spending several hours a day offering strength, hope, knowledge and suggestions to almost 10 people. It felt great…it felt important…but it also used a lot of the time that I usually spent pursuing work as a freelance writer. Bills are bills, and they don’t care if you’re spending long hours doing great volunteer work. I started falling behind.
After sharing this conundrum with my therapist and a couple of other people close to me (including a few I was helping) I kept hearing the same thing: You’re in a rare position to offer a service to many people out there. You have every right to ask for money in exchange for my time, just like a therapist, employment counselor, life coach, mentor or any number of people who are compensated for helping others.
It reached the point where I simply couldn’t keep doing it for free because of the time it was taking. It was either start to take money for my time or stop helping. Not helping was not an option. I wish there were 40 hours in a day so I could help, pursue my professional life as a freelance writer and live a satisfying private life, but there aren’t and this is how I will try to balance things moving forward.